Times they are a-changing!

Times they are a-changing!

You may remember this song by David Bowie?

Watch the video here

Ok, so now lets get down to the real reason behind this blog lol.

Have you noticed recently that your life is changing; things don’t seem quite the same in your thoughts, your feelings and what you are prepared to accept into your life?  It’s as though suddenly you can see more clearly what has been going on and that you are ready to ‘do it different’.    It can be painful, disorientating and unsettling on the one hand but deeply insightful on the other.

Why does the persistent and relentless energy of change seem to be stronger at the moment? Part of the reason is, that during late August and the first half of September, the Sun was in Virgo virgo and changecreating a move to deeper awareness and strengthening our desire for positive change to come forward, with its essence being that any change is better than no change at all.  This may have created some concerns but, as the Sun enters Libra, many of the blocks that have been standing in our way to achieving a fabulous and joyous life, can dissolve when we embrace the opportunity to receive the information that allows us to make well informed choices.  When we allow life to flow, we align ourselves to what sits deep in our own knowing, take action and change our future.

If you don’t like something, change it.

If you can’t change it, change your attitude toward it.

~  Maya Angelou

Some of us do not like change, we may even be afraid of it, but we cannot allow that to lure us into accepting any circumstance that is not comfortable.  We can accept that we are the only one that can change our life; no outside influence or person can do that for us or to us.  Only we, the individual, can challenge our own thought patterns, make a different choice and become awakened and empowered by life. It takes courage to step out onto that road of discovery but the inevitability of time means that nothing can stay the same anyway so we may as well take that first step consciously in the direction that we choose instead of letting our life go with the flow.

We have the potential to create changes right across our life; doing nothing or having nothing happen will not be possible for anyone at this time and by December this year we will each have had the opportunity to move through a really positive phase.  This phase has the potential to change every area of our life including, family, home, career and even relationships if we choose.  All we have to do take that first step!  Make that change today.  Oh and don’t forget to let me know in the comments what you are going to do to change things up!

If you are really struggling to make the changes that you want, don’t forget, we can do a session either face to face or via skype to work through the area’s you are wanting to change.

Diane xxx

PS:  are we connected on Facebook yet?  Have you joined my Facebook group?  If not, please connect.

6 Habits You Must Break to Succeed

6 Bad Habits You Must Break to Succeed

You need to recognise your patterns. You can’t outwork unhealthy patterns. The best way to ditch a bad habit is to embrace a good one in its place.

Many of the entrepreneurs I meet through my work as a coach, mentor and entrepreneur aren’t reaching their full potential. What’s more, they have NO IDEA why. They have great ideas for their startups and financial backing to make it a reality. But no matter how hard they try, they keep coming up short.  Its their reality.

Is this you? Do you believe you should be successful but can’t get quite where you want to be?

If so, I’m willing to bet you’re letting a few bad habits run in the background (your unconscious), without your knowledge. Bad habits often go unnoticed, like a slow leak in a car tire. Until one day, when you’re on the side of the road without any advance warning there’s a problem.

Habits are formed in us between the age of conception and seven years. We learn them through observation, behaviour, methods of reward, defense mechanisms, love and many other means.  We are not consciously aware at that age that we are forming our patterns.

Success requires technical skills as well as the grit, focus and energy to carry you for the long haul. Success also demands self-knowledge. You must be able to see yourself and your habits clearly only then can you change them before they stunt your potential.

Some things like technical skills can always be outsourced, so don’t stress the stuff that is not your area of expertise. Delegate.  If you need help with identifying your patterns that are holding you back and wanting help to change them, then this can be done through someone like myself.  Just book an appointment 🙂

Take a look at the list below and be brutally honest: Do any of them ring a bell?

  1. You’re a Perfectionist.

This is one of the worst ways you can sabotage yourself.  Remember, Rome was not build in one day and neither was it fully completed BEFORE people started living there…6 Bad Habits You Must Break to Succeed

If you live in fear of doing a task wrong, you won’t be able to begin. The stress of being perfect freezes up creativity and joy, making your task longer, more difficult and not as fun.

You will find yourself signing up for every new course you come across, just in case there is something else you should know, BEFORE you launch out into your business. This is also a sign of procrastination…..

Give yourself permission to create imperfectly. Make drafts knowing you won’t include some or most of what you’re doing. You always can edit what you’ve begun. Greatness comes from many failures and do-overs.  Nothing comes from standing on the sidelines waiting for that ‘perfect plan’.  Remember, practice makes perfect, so practice as you build your business.

As they say, “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

  1. You’re Compulsively Distracted.

Surfing the internet, answering a call, catching up on Facebook posts, getting a snack, texting someone back quickly while you’re in the middle of something — it all pulls you away from ‘intense focus’. If you’re constantly interrupting yourself, you can’t get into the swing of things. You could be setting yourself up to waste your whole day.

Setting aside 2 hours of uninterrupted work time is far more beneficial and productive than 5 hours of ‘interrupted’ time.

So, turn off your distractions, close your door and focus for a set period of time. If you need to call, text or eat, give yourself a set break to do so. And then have the discipline to return to the task at hand.

  1. You hit the Snooze Button.

Several studies have proved 15 minutes of extra snooze time in the morning won’t help you feel less tired. Scientists found a long time ago that you need deep REM sleep to recharge. Snoozing actually makes you more tired and fatigued. Even worse, it wastes time you could spend drinking water, showering, meditating or exercising — activities all shown to increase energy levels.6 Bad Habits You Must Break to Succeed6 Bad Habits You Must Break to Succeed

Instead of lying in bed, wishing for just 15 minutes more of sleep, tell yourself it won’t make you less tired. Get up when your alarm sounds (if you need one to wake up), and start incorporating healthy morning habits that will help boost your alertness.

The fallacy that we need 8 hours of sleep each night is not true…  its just that, a fallacy.  We can easily manage on 5 hours sleep per night.  If you wake up in the middle of the night, and cannot get back to sleep, get up and start working.  This is the when the magic happens……

  1. You leave your most Important Work until later.

Most people are at their best earlier in the day, before they’ve reached the brain fatigue of afternoon and evening. Don’t save your hardest or most important tasks for “later.” You won’t have the energy to devote to doing it right.

Tackling difficult tasks early in the day improves your work production. It also allows you to relax as your day unfolds. You’ll know you accomplished what you needed to do, and you’ll have nothing hanging over your head before you leave for the day.

Include some reading or online training as part of your “work time”.  Remember that you have to constantly invest in yourself if you want to continue to grow.

  1. You Multitask.

Just because you think you’re good at multitasking doesn’t mean it’s the best way to get things done. In fact, studies have shown that multitasking reduces the amount of short-term memory you retain from your task. Over time, this reduces your amount of long-term memory as well.

Multitasking makes you miss important details and learn less. It also leads to mistakes. Skip the juggling act and focus on doing one thing well.

You will find that once you are in the groove, you will get so much more done than if you were ‘flipping between tasks’.

  1. You Sit Too Long.

If you frequently use your computer all day, you’re putting your body through some major stress. In a sitting position, the spine becomes less flexible. This puts strain on the lower back, shoulders and neck. It also reduces blood flow to the brain and lungs — the powerhouses you need to accomplish your best work in the moment and later on in your life.

Take breaks every 20 to 30 minutes. Stretch your back and shoulders while you’re working, and consider adopting a regular yoga or pilates routine. Stretching and strengthening your body can help prevent carpal tunnel syndrome, back spasms, fatigue and repetitive-motion injuries.6 Bad Habits You Must Break to Succeed

If you can, get outside and breath that fresh air, feel the wind on your face or the sunshine on your face.  Connect with mother nature and you will find that your focus will improve that much more. Look for the small things in life to give your joy and enjoy what you do.  Never loose sight of that, have fun.

So please remember, bad habits don’t have to rule your life or keep you from achieving success. Changing all your habits at once can be overwhelming, so focus on improving one small thing at a time. Before long, you’ll establish habits that help you be your best.

If you have enjoyed reading my blog, please leave me your comments below.  Feel free to subscribe to our newsletter.

Please share my blog on your facebook site so we can share ‘love and enlightenment’ globally.

If we have not connected on facebook, and you wish to join my facebook group, please click HERE

Love and light

Diane

 

How To Not Fail At Life

Did you know that on average 110 people per month search ‘How to Not Fail at Life‘ on google….

And only 50 people per month search ‘How to Succeed at Life’.

Isn’t it interesting that people tend to use negative words more commonly than positive ones.

Anyway, let this post begin.

How to Not Fail at Life?

Well it isn’t too hard or complex at all. There are few basic rules/values you could live by and with that alone, you will be living a better and more fulfilling life than a lot of others out there, trust me on that one.

Follow these rules and you’ll be on the right path to no regrets on your death bed..

How To Not Fail At Life Rule #1: Do Good

It is that simple. Know that you are a good person, you treat people with respect and you do good in the world. I’m saying that in everyday life, think about the people around you, is there anything you can offer them that will benefit them. Smile at strangers, it might just make their day. Do selfless acts. If you help shape someone’s life for the better, then already you’re succeeding at life.

How To Not Fail At Life Rule #2: Do More Of What You Love

You love to read?  Then read. You love to travel? Then travel. You love to sing? Then sing. You want to spend more time with those you love? Then do just that. Don’t have the time? Make the time. Cut the bullshit out of your life to make time for your passions.

It angers me when I hear people say ‘I don’t have time to do that’. Of course you have the time. You just don’t have your priorities straight.

Many people on their death bed say ‘I wish I didn’t work top regrets of the dyingso much’ or ‘I wish I spent more time with my family’…. and we all have heard about the top regrets of the dying, yet so many of us never change even knowing we are doomed for the same if we don’t change. Make the changes, so when the time comes for you on your death bed, you never have to utter those words.

How To Not Fail At Life Rule #3: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Do you ever look back to a time you thought you had a problem or made a big deal about something, and just laugh about how stupid it really was? Well, every time you think you have a problem or issue, just think ahead and ask yourself if it’s really a big deal at all and am I likely to laugh about this in the future.

I’m going to guess that 70% of the time it’s not actually that bad and by doing this little trick it can save you a heck of a lot of stress and time to do more of the things you identified with in rule #2. 

Simple really when you think about it.

Three Rules to Not Fail at Life.

I live by these three rules daily and by doing so my life has changed dramatically in just one year.

I now live a life of passion, by living my life according to my dreams and desires and I help others do the same, to change their lives and it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done.

Please share this post if you have enjoyed reading it and I look forward to connecting with you on Facebook.

If you want to find out more how you can start to live your , send me a message and lets chat.

Love and light

Diane Purdy

3 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Creativity

Three Steps to Inner Creativity

Whether you are looking to transform a life of sadness and depression into one of happiness and joy, or you are wishing to take your artistry to a higher level, instead of keeping your attention on the goal, focus on taking these three steps:

  1. CLEAR YOUR INNER OBSTACLES

The first step toward unleashing the open flow of creativity is to attain a state of openness. That requires clearing away your negative self-image.

People who are stuck always seem to have excuses for not moving forward. not having Inner Transformationenough money or lacking support from loved ones, friends, or colleagues are very common examples. You may think, “I’m not good enough,” or “no one else has done it before,” or “This is not the right time and place.” But whether you have ten reasons or one hundred, external factors are not the real obstacle. The real block is within. It’s not that someone else is in your way—you yourself are the block. You are attached to the aspect of yourself that is blocking the way.

There are many methods for clearing awareness and improving self-image. Talk therapy is one. Practicing yoga is another. on a deeper level, meditation techniques such as the Bön Buddhist practices of tsa lung or the nine breathings of purification can help you clear the physical, energetic, and mental obstacles associated with negative self-image.

Here is a simple clearing practice you can try right now in order to begin the process of unleashing your creative energy:

  • Notice your internal dialogue. Are you always telling yourself things like: “This can’t work,” “no one will like it,” “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t have the energy,” or “It’s not worth the trouble.” Identify your primary obstacle. simply being aware that it is within you can help begin the process of unblocking.
  • Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a moment to feel the stillness of your body. Listen and hear the silence within and around you, and abide in the spaciousness of your mind. rest in this place of openness for a few minutes or longer.
  • Now, from that place of stillness, silence, and spaciousness, bring your main obstacle back into awareness. observe it nakedly, without concepts, judging, or evaluating. This is what I call “selecting” the issue.
  • Take in a deep breath of pure awareness, bringing it directly into the image or energetic feeling of the inner obstacle you have selected. As you exhale, breathe out the blockage and experience it dissolving into space. Be aware of that space and effortlessly rest there for a few minutes.

Repeat this breathing cycle over and over until you start to feel clearer inside. The more you become aware of what is blocking your creative flow and practice clearing it, the more you discover and cultivate a more positive sense of self that is based on the absence of obstacle. This much larger sense of self has nothing to do with identity and everything to do with openness. You are the infinite space that has opened up.

You may fear that without your old, familiar sense of pain identity, you are nothing. But Inner Transformationas you clear your sense of negative self-image, you can begin to discover that in its absence, you are everything. A sense of self that is founded in openness is unchanging, indestructible, and confident.

Whatever practice you use, the point is to discover a place of spaciousness within. Give time not only to clearing obstacles but also to becoming familiar with what opens up as a result. every moment you spend in a state of openness is cumulative and supports your ability to be in the flow. Let go, rest in the openness, and become familiar with it. Cultivate confidence in the realization that your true inner being cannot be changed by any force.

  1. OPEN TO YOUR POTENTIAL

If you can successfully clear the clouds of negative self-image and become more familiar with the vast sky, then by resting deeply enough in that space, you will begin to feel an even greater opening and sense of peace. The sparkling qualities manifesting in that space are the light of awareness and potentiality.

so the second step toward unleashing a free flow of creativity is to cultivate and connect fully with that awareness and sense of unlimited potential. once you do so, you can come to realize that not only are you more than you had always thought you were, but your entire world is full of positive alternatives. nothing is missing in your life; you are complete.

Finding solutions to problems may only require a new perspective, but sometimes it requires exploring whole new horizons. For example, in recent months I’ve met many people who have been telling me they can’t find work. But I truly feel that the reason they can’t find a job is only because they are the same person looking in the same types of places where they found no jobs before. The point here is to consciously and energetically let go of feeling not only internally blocked but also externally blocked.

It is very hard to look in a new place for solutions when you are the same old person. When there are obstacles in the way of reaching a professional, personal, or spiritual goal, a shift has to take place within you.

  1. NURTURE A SENSE OF WARMTH

Once you have realized a sense of openness, confidence, and unlimited potential, then qualities of joy—what I call warmth—can naturally arise. It is only from this warmth that creativity, finally, will freely manifest. The third condition for Inner Transformationconnecting with your creative nature, therefore, is to notice and nurture a feeling of warmth.

Just as the sky is the primary source of the sun and the oxygen-rich wind, which in turn give birth to all the flowers and trees, openness is the primary source of confidence and warmth, which in turn give birth to creative and enlightened manifestation.

Warmth is the place from which love, kindness, compassion, expansiveness, and creativity arise. It’s like sitting in a patch of sunlight in cold weather. As the light warms you, you begin to smile. The warmth you experience is a sense of feeling complete or, more specifically, no longer feeling incomplete. You are conscious that any feelings of inadequacy have dissolved and that you are more connected to your true self, so naturally you feel complete.

Once anger is cleared, its antidote—love—can more spontaneously arise. once sadness and feelings of inadequacy are cleared, joy and completeness are revealed. I’m not just saying this; for centuries, yogis and other practitioners have witnessed these results from meditation practice, and my own students have seen such effects within a few days of practice.

When you create more space and awareness, positive qualities naturally arise. The more familiar you become with a sense of warmth, the more often these joyful feelings will be evident. If this warmth is something you have seldom felt before, it’s only because you have never before provided the space for it to manifest.

If you feel the stirring of joy, just be aware of it. Particularly feel it in your heart, and allow it to expand throughout your body—through your blood, your skin. Feel all the billions of cells in your body communicating with each other through this joy. Let your voice speak from that place, and you will feel warmth reflecting back on you from the people you speak with.

This is something you’ve wanted and needed all your life, and now you are feeling it. Warmth is not goal oriented; it is about connecting with your very being. Creativity flows from here.

If you have enjoyed my post, please leave me your comment below.

Namaste

Diane xxxx

PS:  Look for my group on FaceBook  Redefining Love  I would love to have you join us.

How to Access the Power of Gratitude

Accessing The Power Of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for creating happiness has been mainstream for years. Long-term studies support the effectiveness  and benefits of gratitude practice suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery. The power of a gratitude practice is substantial.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, its practice can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential, it needs to become more than just an empty word that is tossed around occasionally. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit, a whole new outlook on our life. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we

practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we redefining lovegive ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colourful autumn leaves, legs that walk, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm cosy jackets, ripe tomatoes, clean air, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

  • Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way. It helps you to look past the problem in a situation to find the blessing in everything, even if that blessing is a difficult lesson.
  • Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures of things for which you are grateful
  • Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your night time routine
  • Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation
  • When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel
  • Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude
  • Give at least one compliment daily. It can be directed to a person or you could invite someone to share your appreciation of something else – such as “I love how beautiful the autumn leaves are, don’t you?”
  • When you find yourself in a difficult situation instead of getting angry or fearful ask yourself, What can I learn here? How can I grow from this experience? What is there here that I might later look back on and be grateful for?
  • When you’re in a situation that creates negative feelings within you, search for something positive you can focus on instead. For example, instead of “it’s cold and dreary this morning” think of “the fresh crisp morning air clears my head so I can focus better”

How To Access The Power Of Gratitude As your practice develops, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

If you have enjoyed reading my blog, please share and leave me a comment below

In Gratitude

Diane

PS:  If we have not connected on facebook, please ‘like’ my fan page here….

PSS:  Feel free to join our ‘Private’ facebook group HERE

Become The Creator Of Your Dreams

WE CAN CREATE OUR OWN DESTINY AND DREAMS.

You are the divine creation on this earth. You have been given all the power to live the life of your dreams.

Living your dreams is not a coincidence, its a process to align your mind and soul with your action to go on the journey until you reach your destination.  Sounds easy doesn’t it, and it is, if you set your mind to it.

On this journey of life, you will find joy and sorrow, you will find support and obstacles, and you will have achieved success and failure. past can hurt changeBut every time you find happiness or success you will feel great. Most of the time when you come face to face with adversity, you want to run away or blame others for the same, but that is not how to do it, is it?  But you still want to run away, don’t you?

Many people make their parents, partner, family, friends, employer and society responsible, for their failures. While doing so, they don’t take ownership and dump it on someone else. This may give you a moment of satisfaction, that you are not responsible for your failure and that you think someone else is. But is that true satisfaction?  How long does it last?  There are people who spend their lifetime making other people responsible for every misadventure in their lives and project themselves as a victim of destiny.

I am sure that you know at least one person like this or have met one somewhere in your life, would you agree?

If you are doing the same, whether you blame others or situations for all the failures in your life or even just some of them, I have one question for you: “Is it giving you the happiness and the success you desire?”

I bet the answer is NO.

Still, many people do it and it becomes such a habit, that they just keep telling the story of their misery to others again and again.  which just reinstates that ‘negative’ lifestyle for them, one of misery.  Beginning to see the pattern here yet?  Its a cicle of “woe is me….”

IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE TINIEST OF DESIRE TO LIVE WITH HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS THEN YOU MUST TAKE OWNERSHIP AND RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE. BY EVEN JUST TAKING 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVEN JUST 1% FAILURE IN YOUR LIFE, WILL START TO SHIFT THINGS FOR THE BETER.

blaming othersYou must be thinking “why should I take responsibility for others misdeeds, right?” They are to blame, not me…

Every situation and every person you have in your life are what you have attracted to you. Sometimes you do it consciously and sometimes, unconsciously. But the true transformation happens through your actions, be it possitive or negative.

When you truely understand that you are living like a magnet in this Universe and the Law of Attraction is sending you everythingyou are asking for, you will start to understand that you ARE the Creator of your Dreams….

While taking ownership of all your failure, you may feel like a loser who has made all the mistakes to create this misery, but that’s not the wisdom that I want you to remember.

When I ask you to take 100% responsibility for your life, I want you to see the true wisdom of life and that is:

WHEN YOU ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR PAIN, MISERY AND FAILURE THEN, AND ONLY THEN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY CREATOR OF YOUR SUCCESS, HAPPINESS, AND ABUNDANCE.

By you making others responsible for your failure then unconsciously you wait for their permission and actions to make you happy and successful also.  You are GIVING others permission to ‘control’ your feelings and emotions.  Is this what you want?

Hey, I want to OWN my FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, they are mine!

But when the shift happens and you take 100% responsibility for even just 1% of your failure or mistakes, that’s when you know that you are the 100% creator of your dreams and happiness.  This is when you will truely begin to LIVE life to its fullest…

Now is the time when you stop blaming others and situations, but resolve to start a journey of your own. Now is the time when you must take yourself to a level where you know that you are thearchitect of your dreams.

Manifestation

Take 100% control of your life and become the creator of your dreams.

Once you are living your life where you are in control, you will be amazed at how everything you dream of, starts to manifest and happen.  Little signs will appear guiding you, people will come into your life to teach you lessons or to give you guidance that you need but are not even aware off.  This is when life truely is amazing.  Embrace this life if you are not already doing so.

Live a life of gratitude.  If you wish to find out how to do this, please read my blog on how to “Access the Power of Gratitude” here.

Become one with yourself like yin and yang…   Become one with the universe and grow to your fullest potential.

Yours in love and light

Diane

PS:  If we have not connected on facebook, please ‘like’ my fan page here

PSS:  Why not join my ‘private’ group on facebook HERE

How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships

How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships

We’ve all carried baggage from past relationships at one time or another. Whether it’s from a past love, friendship or even a family member, we carry the baggage from these relationships with us. And it can affect everything we do. Everything.

The problem isn’t actually the baggage itself but how we allow the baggage to define us.  Can we figure out who we are independent of the baggage or has the baggage created who we are?

If the baggage is defining who we are, then we owe to ourselves to release its hold over us. “Just let it go,” they say. But just letting it go is much more difficult task than it sounds. Letting go of something we have been carrying around with us for awhile isn’t something that happens overnight. But it is possible.

Here are some ways to help us begin the process of releasing the hold our baggage has on our lives, the decisions we make and our existing relationships.

HOW TO RELEASE ATTACHMENTS TO PAST RELATIONSHIPS

BE WILLING TO RELEASE THE ATTACHMENT

Why we hold onto baggage is different for everyone. We might use it to shield us from future hurt, we might use it to help propel us into action, or maybe to allow us to feel certain emotions and we might use it to keep us from moving forward.  Any action motivated by the baggage we hold onto is not serving us.

We often want to release the baggage, when in some way it is giving us something we think we need.  We know it isn’t healthy but on some level we keep justifying holding onto it to ourselves. Letting go of the baggage is hard and doesn’t happen overnight, but we have to start with the affirmation that it is what we need to do.

JOURNAL

Relationship BaggageWe should start writing down our thoughts, beliefs and the behaviors that affect our mood. Be honest and just write anything that comes to mind. Create a judgment-free zone where we are able to be real with ourselves. As we continue to write, we will start to notice patterns and triggers. Triggers that we can begin to recognize and change.

Even question in your journal how a behaviour serves you.  If it does not serve you then you know immediately that it is a behaviour that you need to change or let go of.

CHALLENGE THE STORY

We write our life’s story from our perspective. If the story is not contributing positively to our current reality, it is up to us to challenge it. Our story is from our point of view, as it should be. But to begin to let go of the baggage, it is helpful take a step outside of our story and write it from another perspective. Another perspective helps us to release the overwhelming emotion we feel and can help us break the hold it has on us.

FIND THE POSITIVE

Every relationship serves a purpose in our lives, even the bad ones. Our goal should be to find something positive that will help us reframe how we look at the relationship.

Maybe the relationship helped define acceptable behaviors, maybe it helped us become stronger and more resilient, maybe it helped us become more grateful for small moments. We can only begin to let go once we stop focusing on the bad and shift our focus to the silver lining, however small.

The simple thinks like a raindrop sitting on a leaf glimmering in the light, is something to be grateful for and that helps shift our thoughts and mood to one of positivity.  The small little things in life.

TREAT OTHERS WITH KINDNESS

It is easy to treat kind people with kindness but make it a goal to treat everyone with kindness – even those less deserving. This shifts our focus from past bad behaviors to future good ones. When we stop letting the bad behaviors of past relationships determine our future actions, we can begin to let go.

Only by letting go of the bad behaviors do we make room for the new and more serving behaviors.

Negative energy takes a toll on your body. Swap for a grateful heart. Starting each morning with an appreciation or affirming thought puts you a step closer to happy. Swap for practicing forgiveness. Purposefully letting go of the anger and bitterness towards those who have hurt you as well as yourself frees you from the past and resets your heart to love again

VISUALIZE YOUR OWN VERSION OF HAPPY

As we begin to separate ourselves from the baggage it is important to visualize what our happiness without it looks like.

How do we feel and act in our relationships with others. How does our time alone make us feel? How do we make decisions without the baggage as an influence?

Once we have a clear vision of what life is like without our dependence on our baggage, it is easier to make choices with that future in mind.

RELEASE EXPECTATIONS

As we begin to act independent of our baggage, it is important to move forward with expectations. It is our expectations that will keep us tied the Relationship Baggagebehaviors of our past relationships. We often times have expectations, some of which are unrealistic, without even realizing it. That is why journaling is so important. You will become aware of when the baggage is creeping in.

It’s okay to be a little weary of the process. We harbor a great deal of emotion and it can be painful to get through it. If we continue to hold on to it without facing it, it will affect everything we do.  Don’t wait until there is a risk of losing something wonderful to release the baggage.
All of these changes, will assisst you in making a shift from where you are to where you want to be.
If you feel you need help with removing and letting go of your baggage, then please reach out to me as this is part of my area of expertise with regards to my coaching services that I offer.  Please check out the ‘Contact’ page.

Yours in love and light.

Diane

PS:  If we have not connected on facebook, please ‘like’ my fan page here

PSS:  Why not join my ‘private’ group on facebook HERE

Finding my Purpose | Prep for Painfull Practice

Finding that Purpose

There’s a myth that once you know what it is that you’re supposed to pursue, achieving that purpose will be easy because it plays to your strengths and passion. Believe me, that’s not the case.

“The paradox is it’s difficult to achieve the level excellence that your calling should merit, but that struggle for mastery is also invigorating and fulfilling. It’s tough and not everybody realizes that until they’re in it,” said Goins.

Just as with professional athletes, musicians or artisans, 

to the point of exhaustion
to the point of exhaustion

expect to intentionally hone your craft to the point of exhaustion. Otherwise, mastery will elude you.

Jeff Goins once said, “Grinding it out is not fun. Painful practice is not fun, but it’s necessary to both clarify your purpose and achieve it,”.

The key is finding where your abilities and personal drive intersect the needs of others. There is a simple starting point to finding your purpose by answering the following three questions, but getting there is a painfull practice or process:

  1. What do I love?
  2. What am I good at?
  3. What does the world need?

Once that sweet spot is identified you won’t have a job or even a career.

You’ll have a life purpose.

Personally, I have found that changing ME into who I wanted to become and to implement my purpose was harder than identifying what that purpose was. It took a lot of sole searching, learning and growing, but I got there and now work with others to get there too.

Don’t forget, be amazing, in love and light

Diane